Hang on there ... heh the radio is playing Sweet Freedom now ! wat coincidencE!
.....You r the magic..... you're where i wanna be ......

oo ok , so i went out wid Wil for dinner y'day.....Well all i can say he is nuthin but oozing wid SEX! i mean he is definitely the Sexiest man i come across so far.
Gosh, I never really bothered about e post-date of How my date thinks of me for my recent spree wid guys until when Mae meets Willy. I mean Wil. heh :P

Got to know him a bit more, where he has been, studying, life in Sg, his income and I hope tats not all gg forward :/ Im really worrying about if he will date me again, coz wat he said when we parted... He went the opposite way taking the bus ( arsehole least he can take the train /walk me to the station ??), wid 'c u'... 'c u in gym' ( not call u up again for next date etc ). But he is surely one tough one to tackle, .... attractive, confidence, not desparate (happily single seemingly, and 101% sexy (heheh) ::smack::

Here's the Bio:
Nick : Wil
Age : 32
DOB : 11 Nov 1969
Status : Single
Income : $4.8k / mth
Height : 1.78m i think, mmmh was lookin at his back yday while exiting from the ladies ....... nice bod i must admit.
Past :
Studied in Melbourne Monash U for double deg in Business (Accountancy) and Computer Studies ( Computing)
First class honour follow by a Master course (Scholarship) ...... ok , not too mention, besides sexy, he's smart heheh
Work in Aus for 5 yrs before returning to Singapore to work. Reason for leaving : high personal taxes.
He talked about an ex of 1 yrs + who leave him for a (younger n richer?) guy when he is 3 months into doing his honours; Was totally devastated for 4 months; decided to pick himself up n got 1st class honours.

3 Sisters now working / living in melb.

Current:
An A2 Currently working in DBS Bank for close to 2 yrs. wonders why he is in ITG. Alwayz feel being underpaid wid a double deg under his belt.
Living with his mom near Tiong Bahru. Have a small little dog ( flown in from Aus).
Happily Single, but always lookin.
Gg back to melbourne soon for some skiing action
has around 20 pairs of shoes... !

The dinner was really a short one, barely an hr or so i think. I hope I make a good impression though. the stupidest thing i said was about fhm. darn it he's not even an 'ex' to me. just a short, brief stupid stint. STUOPID FHM I should gives me a nice hard ROUND HOUSE KICK if I ever see him. DUMB ARSE.... im referring to FHM not ME.

Follow up plan :
... erm none yet. we see how over the weekends.

 
Song : Safri Duo feat Michael Mcdonalds : Sweet Freedom

okie dokie so im gg out on a date with Wil tonite! finally! after the 3rd attempt! (first recorded as at 25 May 2002)

Im kinda nervous , feelin freakie. i guess so far he is the most suitable guy im gg out wid.
Wish me luck ! Hope everything goes out smoothly to warrant a 2nd date !

Should tell myself ... self-confident, fabulous looking, sexy, flirty,Shine Sweet Freedom! Shine your light on me!

tat Joker, sms him never reply...

NO MORE RUNNIN' DOWN THE WRONG ROAD
DANCIN' TO A DIFF'RENT DRUM
CAN'T YOU SEE WHAT'S GOIN' ON
DEEP INSIDE YOUR HEART
ALWAYS SEARCHIN' FOR THE REAL THING
LIVIN' LIKE IT'S FAR AWAY
JUST LEAVE ALL THE MADNESS IN YESTERDAY
YOU'RE HOLDIN' THE KEY
WHEN YOU BELIEVE IT

CHORUS:
SHINE SWEET FREEDOM
SHINE YOUR LIGHT ON ME
YOU ARE THE MAGIC
YOU'RE RIGHT WHERE I WANNA BE
OH SWEET FREEDOM CARRY ME ALONG
WE'LL KEEP THE SPIRIT ALIVE ON AND ON

WE'LL BE DANCIN' IN THE MOONLIGHT
SMILIN' WITH THE RISIN' SUN
LIVIN' LIKE WE'VE NEVER DONE
GOIN' ALL THE WAY
REACHIN' OUT TO MEET THE CHANGES
TOUCHIN' EVERY SHINING STAR
THE LIGHT OF TOMORROW IS RIGHT WHERE WE ARE
THERE'S NO TURNIN' BACK
FROM WHAT I'M FEELING

CHORUS:

COZ THERE'LL BE STARLIGHT ALL NIGHT
WHEN WE'RE CLOSE TOGETHER
SHARE THOSE FEELINGS DANCIN' IN YOUR EYES
TONIGHT THEY'RE GUIDING US
SHININ' TILL THE MORNIN' LIGHT

 
Just tok to ZK.... i asked him like ,wat he likes to see less of me...

he says... He wans to see more self-confident in me.

Quite true, sometimes i suffer from low self-esteem. I think its becoz of my past , no bfs.. fat.. ugly.. sighz... how to develop self confident like tat?

Wish me luck, and hopefully I will be starting a new blog soon on happier events!

 
hey! wat happen to my prev post????

darn it... here it is .... dated : 10 Jul 2002


me: heh hi, havent seen or heard from u for weeks, r u still ard in dbs?

22:35 no dear, bad news is that i m still stuck in dbs.
just got buried in the process. how have u been? got time for lunch tom?

me : aye there u are {smiley}. mi on course for next 3 days and gg for a short
break over the weekend. how about next week then?

me: ? sleep liao or din got my reply?

22:59: ahh, the nego course. lucky u, i was suppose to attend but just couldnt
get the time away. going away? for a dirty weekend...?

me: i can onli get dirty if u going wid me.. hee, wat u busy wid? i tot u oreadi
finished the crm thingy?

23:32: just got ur sms. dirty wif me? my, wonder wat impresssion i hav been giving u.
i m still cleaning up the repors in crm. then i will have to do the budget thing.

me: just kiddin lar...relac man im not trying to give u any wrongs ideas too.
me gg to tioman wid my ex classmate for some r&r. ok i gtg u take cares.

aiya, now u say...i was just planning our weekend!! oksee u next week. take care at tioman,
please come back in one piece.

me: of coz i will come back in one piece juz to c u next week :P good nitey.

 
21 Jul 2002
14:54 :hey woman. what have u been busy with?
me : makaning wid my mom n sis now. went to the SQ centre for the team building course y'day.
15:03 : yeah, was going 2 ask if u went. how was it ? a waste of time?
(Arsehole, din he hv the list tat Im suppose to go on the same weekend?)
me : kinda of, have u went to similar course before?
--no reply -- arsehole
me : so what are u busy with now?
him : yeah still busy with the budget
me : busy still must eat dinner rite ... so will u be free for dinner say Wed or Fri ? :P
him : ok, wed is good
(arsehole .... sounds unappreciative)
me : Great! so u at home now?
him :no, on my way down for coffee at holland v
me : so cool, who your new gf issiy?
him : no ... i wished. waiting for u to intro some sassy gal
(ARSEHOLE ARSEHOLE ARSEHOLE)
me : mmmh, (trying to take it easy) Wed lor heheh.
---no response ...aRSEHOLE!)
me : ok, enjoy yourself and c u on Wed.
--no Response ....complete arsehole....

 
song : Kasey Chamber - Not Pretty Enough

sighz, after a direction-less and lost weekend with myself wandering through my restless mind, Im back to work. As I tot I have kinda tidy up my feelings , I still feel some pain in my heart ... those feeble feeling when i read my previous blog. Wat to do, mabbe i was just to naive, trying to make-believe some things that had NEVER ever exist. I guess i should just STOP thinkin about it huh.

Anyway, I hope all bad things ends there. Have booked a trip to Tioman, together wid dan the man, lipton n his gf. Yup, dan is back. I reckon is better to go together then to go alone ? Hope it will turn up fine. Anyway, its kinda cheap heheh, about $160 / pax compared to wat i initially have on mind ( @ $300 for single trip) so im quite glad. Still the task of waking up and reaching the Golden Mile Complex at 6:30am is daunting..... HELP!!

Hey, having book such a cheap trip, mabbe i can squeeze in some $ to buy a pair of Teva heheh. Darn, the WOS had a 30% sale last weekend. Went pass it today but it does not seems to hv it now... ARGH. anyway, im sure I will be needing one pair for my coming BATC in August.

OH well will be on course for 3 days so by tomorrow, i better packed watever stuffs in the office i need to bring for the trip home... heh , like? toothbrush , refills , shades, mmmh, that seems to be about all heheh.

 
geesh i know it have been a while, but theres nuthin much new in my life....

anyway, im here today, to record more Lost Emotions.... How appropriate, or was it just a curse that is spell bounded on me ?

I plucked up enuff courage to sms fhm today, after like 1 1/2 months of non-contact, in the morning on my way to work.
it started out normal, he was just saying he is busy. after a couple of hrs, he sms me again ( surprise) and i guess this is wat he wanted to tell me, he had a gf.
i.... really feel a sense of heart shattering moment.... oh well, though i should hv record all he sms-ed afterwards here. but wats the point rite.

I really told him i feel silly n stupid that i have been hanging on. I dun care if he cares or not... but he sms-ed farnie stuffs tat let me think he either trying to make up to me , or he just not a trust worthy fellow.... can i take wat Russ said ( Russ = milo) tat he is the latter? I cried and cant help feeling sorry for myself, or was it the lost of another relationship? He wrote things like " just let him know wat i wan, and he know wat to do ... " DO WAT? and stuffs like " we can still be frens if i wan or dare (?)" ?

I feel myself going to nowhere.... I told Russ ( luckily hes online) tat love hv better find me coz I am not seeking it anymore.


I'm sitting all alone
wonderin' where to start
sittin' all alone
but that's the way I like it
-That's the way I like it
I'm watching people as they come in
They're so strange to me
but that's the way I like it
-That's the way I like it

The music plays loud
a familiar tune
it takes me far back
-to when I was in love
Dance away my life
Dance away the pain
but keep me from thinking
-of when I was in love

NO MORE......pain
NO MORE......sorrow
NO MORE......lies
NO MORE......love

Get off the dance floor
and I sit back down
I can't seem to forget
-just what love's been like!
So I'm doomed
to be in a crowded room
and still feel alone
-just what loves been like!
I don't know anymore
-what love's like

I'm not so sure that
it's better to have lost in love
cause I'm not so sure that
it's better to have loved at all

NO MORE.....pain
NO MORE.....sorrow
NO MORE.....lies
NO MORE.....love

~no more, (venus virus)