So En finally called, on Thursday near to lunch time, and we went out for some 'servicing'. This time around, sex is a bit of different, a bit more of tender moments (although much of the ranchiness remains), when he cummed and he rested on and hugged me from behind, it feels good, definitely; and when I stroke his face lightly, he turned towards me; When he pumped me, it does not feel as technical as before.

I feel sated, and it makes me just yearn for him, more.

I hope Im not on my way to self-destruction.

 

Aquarius - Thursday March 20th 2003
You will have a bit of a boost to your physical energy and well-being today, which you are going to need because you are beating yourself up with the "should have" stick over something minor. You really don't need to do that, you know. You may just have to learn to love and live with yourself.

Indeed, I really just have to learn to love and live with myself. I may have been in too deep, not for the sex, but for his presence. Perhaps its was the expectation of him calling this week, that send me fidgeting all day and night. Its that chronic thoughts that he is with some one new and better and has long forsake me.

And when I have gone through the pain and finally convince myself that he is Never going to call, he will.

I hate this; Good thing I had a few games of UT2k3 to take away my frustrations, and looking forward to tonight's combat as well...