It has been quite a week, I must say. Actually put off meeting En on 9 May. Felt so terrible bout it, I need it, it being .. I do not exactly know what it is.
I have been through a very indecisive week thinkin about what to do with him.

I feel the pressure for getting it all right, and it is overwhelming. Is there really nothing else I can do about, but just to do what I can - wait ?

found out some time back that he will be going on a SUPER long leave of 1 month. If i do not see him for the early next two days ( then its the menses) , I will not see him for 3 months , which will have jolly well end the relationship - or perhaps this is it ? The pivotal point of what will happen?

Have also been very BIG mouth and sort of told Rogz about what is going on - I think im crazy to tell him - how much can i trust him really ? I felt like a complete idiot now. Still havent decide what to do next , I really need him and should I call him tomorrow ?